Why do I feel like a failure as a mom

I feel like all my kids ever do is whine. My other friends kids don’t act like mine. My oldest is almost 4, my middle is 14 months and I’m pregnant with my 3rd. Both of them have the same temperament which is cry. My son won’t entertain himself at all and all my daughter does is cry and whine unless she’s sleeping 80% of the time. I’ve really done a good job to change myself as a parent and be calmer, focus on the positives of my children and I’m not seeing any change in them. Especially my oldest. Even when I take him to a playground he won’t go play he runs around the equipment but is too scared to actually play on it. He whines for me to do everything for him and we just end up leaving frustrated. Why are my kids not like other kids?! Why can’t I give my son playdoh and him play with it for more than 1 minute? He’s not autistic, he goes to preschool and apparently he’s great there. But if I give him the same activities at home he won’t touch them. Does this get better because sometimes I wonder why God would allow me to be a mom if I’m so shitty at it.