I’m asexual and cant help but feel sad about it.

I’ve been asexual my whole life. No sexual attraction or desire and if any it’s very small and goes away after a minute. It really brings down my confidence and my boyfriend and I are sexually active just maybe once a month. He knows about me and is very understanding and never tries to push sex and he understands sex is an uncomfortable topic for me not just because of my asexuality but also due to past trauma.

I feel so bad sometimes that I can’t provide him sex and obviously it’s not all about sex but it’s also a bummer for me that I can’t truly enjoy it because sex just doesn’t do it for me in any way. I’m so scared that he’ll one day get fed up with It and he swears he won’t but still I worry. It’s my biggest insecurity.

I’ve even tried those female viagra whatever pills to tru yo help boost my sex drive but it just doesn’t work. It’s non existent.

Please tell me I’m not the only one going through this...

Also we had sex about a month ago right after my period and haven’t had it since but now I’m four weeks late and low key it makes me worry and feel like I should never have sex. Yes we did it unprotected and that’s our fault but still it just increases my anxiety.