Here would you feel?

Yesterday morning we were harassed by the police for social distancing (my physiologist told me I had to go on 2 walks a day for my mental health and me and my bf have been together for 2 years so idek why they tried what they did) and I let my s/o know it spooked you me out...

how would you fall if you let him know you weren’t horny and didn’t really want to do anything and he just shut you up by making out with you and sucking your boobs?

I let him know after that, that I was still uneasy but he wanted to so I finally just gave myself to him and told him to hurry because I was scared from earlier....

About 30 mins after while chilling he kept asking me to give head, and how I said I would days ago he kept mentioning it and I gave in. I asked him with my dick in his mouth when I could be done and he kept guilt tripping me, I’m lost for words he started treating me like ass later in the day and it just made me more upset about what happened

I feel used. I know it’s not rape and I’m not accusing him of that either, I just feel some sort or regret and disgusted. I literally got sick thinking about it. My legs feel weak my head hurts I’m heart broken...