My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and he’s a great guy. He’s turning 22 in just a couple short days and he wants to get his CPL, but a gun, etc. one the pandemic settles down. He asked for my opinion but then also talked about how excited he is.

Now, while I know he is an adult and can do what he wants, I’d be lying if I said a small part of me asked that he didn’t. And I feel terrible for it.

He has bipolar, PTSD, ADHD, and anxiety. Abused a kid. Birthdays and holidays are especially hard for him. Throughout the time we’ve been dating, there’s been 4 times where he’s gone off of his meds. There’s also been a few times where he told me he hates his life, once even told me about his suicidal thoughts. He tells me all the time how he only stays around for his dad and me.

I know he’s excited for it and wants to do it because he feels safer with it. But I’ve seen how bad he gets when his mental health goes in a downward spiral. But, especially since his birthday is in quarantine, I feel like a shitty girlfriend for saying I’m worried.