Losing my religion

Hey ladies.

I’ve got married to my husband three years ago. He was very abusive during the first year of marriage but then suddenly stopped because he said he regretted it. It’s been 2 years now that he hasn’t hit me. He’s a very “religious” person. Since that abuse was going on I fell into depression. Now since 1 month I feel like I’m not really believing in my religion anymore and I can’t deal with all these rules anymore. I used to really love my religion and following the rules, it used to give me a lot of strength. But now I just want to be left alone. If I tell my husband about me not believing in our religion anymore he’s going to flip out. I don’t know to what extend. But he won’t want to stay with me if I really leave the religion long term. I’m not happy in my life right now. The religion that I follow is a cult. It’s really hard to break free.