Am I being unreasonable?

Question

My husband's grandma passed away this morning. They are having a funeral with who knows how many people. His sister and 4 kids are coming in from out of state, and my state is lifting the restrictions before the funeral. I asked him to wear a mask and not touch anyone. (My son and I will not go.) We just got in a fight because he said he was going to hug his family and that wearing a mask would not protect him. I got mad and he said he didn't say he wasn't going to wear a mask. I'm 37 weeks pregnant. I think he should go but limit his contact and not touch anyone. His parents have had hospice in the house and numerous different care takers. His dad kept going out bc he thinks this is over blown. I'm not sure how anyone else there is social distancing. I haven't left the house to go anywhere in over a month. If I have to be separated from my baby at birth, I will not be able to forgive him for not even trying to social distance. It is also making me super anxious already.

Answer

I’m in the same boat. They want to get together for Mother’s Day next week and I already said I wasn’t going and honestly don’t feel comfortable with husband going either. There’s people coming from out of town and like you said don’t know how or if they’re even social distancing and some don’t care so I’m not comfortable with it. Yes, I want to see everyone and it’s Mother’s Day but I do not want to risk having my child separated from me at birth. Specially being this close to giving birth. No way.

Answer

I’d be flipping shit. It’s a really hard situation bc it’s his grandma, but I am fearful also of getting separated from baby so I definitely get that concern. You’re dealing with a ton of emotion between your fear and his sadness so fights will happen, but if you guys can sit down and calmly approach the conversation with him saying his concerns and you saying yours I think you’ll both feel a lot better.

Answer

I totally get where you are coming from - we are having similar issues with my husbands family.
I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. You are trying to protect your family and we don’t know everything about this virus to help us. And his actions can directly impact your families health. 
If it makes you feel better, I had a long discussion with my doctor today and she said they legally cannot take baby away unless you agree to it. That they had a Covid positive patient two weeks ago and that if the mom asks to isolate they will, but all that they require is that when baby is doing skin to skin or nursing that mom wear a mask (or positive) and at night baby’s crib is placed 6 feet away since mom wouldn’t wear a mask at night.  That was one of my biggest concerns, we’re doing everything we can, but we also help with my in-laws groceries and such and found out they’ve been lying and going out when they said they were staying in. But the doctors answers made me feel way better!

Answer

He's putting you and your babies at risks you are not being unreasonable. This virus is real and your newborn is so vulnerable.

Answer

I think you for sure are not being unreasonable. Unfortunately it's still not safe to have large gatherings- funerals included. The health of your living baby is incredibly important as you inch closer to your due date. I understand how hard this will be for your husband- it's hard enough to grieve as it is, and to not be able to grieve in the way he wants is even harder. But these are unprecedented times unfortunately, and you are pregnant, and he should be doing whatever he can to protect you and that baby inside of you.

Answer

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. It’s so frustrating when you’re doing everything you can to protect yourself and your baby while others behave so carelessly. I’m so sorry for your husband’s loss and for yours. But you’re right to be concerned. I hope your husband comes around to your point of view. He needs to keep himself safe. Not only for you, your son, and your baby - but for himself. He wants to be around for his family right? This virus is scary. My Grandpa passed in March when all of this started. Multiple family members, including mine, did not go to the funeral even though family was still allowed at that stage. Everyone understood. It’s absolutely awful. This virus takes and takes. Hugs to you and strength to get through this insane time. 💛💛💛💛

Am I being unreasonable?

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