Do I like him? Or attention?

Hey everyone, so I’ve been seeming this guy for about 4 months now. But we’ve only decided to have a “talk” about what we are actually doing a couple of weeks ago. To which I replied I want a boyfriend. Which is somewhat true, I gain feelings very easily, and I only enjoy sec if there is an emotional connection there. I’m 19, and he’s 24 and some see it from the outside as a big age difference! Sometimes I worry about it too, like me not being good enough for him due to my age, not being able to be like “wife material”. I’ve also never had a boyfriend before and am not entirely sure how to act? Where as he’s had multiple long term girlfriends. And as he described their relationship to be toxic, and says that he is a dickhead and he doesn’t want to hurt me. Like what does that mean?

I also struggle a lot with saying no, and always try to please people. Now I even question if I really like him, or I only like the attention. (Cuddles, kisses, affection, being somewhat liked by someone?) it’s like I crave it, but I’m nervous and scared for the final outcome.

There’s such a long story to this, and I can’t really talk to my close friends about it atm, as I tend to keep things to myself for a bit, but I just want to know if anyone has ever felt like this?

Like I’m constantly thinking about him, but I’m unsure if i truly do like him? Or the attention? I also get nervous and anxious around him, like I’m going to embarrass myself and I get all shy and I’m not even like that! Like what’s going on with me!