Depressed maybe? Breakup..

Hey guys. I’m 17. My 18th birthday is next friday :). In August of last year (starting my senior year, 1st week in school) I had a breakup. We were together for 1 year and 3 months and I found out he was cheating so I left. It was one of the most horrible things that happened to me. “Friends” were getting upset that I kept talking about being sad, I felt like I was annoying everyone with my problems so.. so I just started holding everything in. It took me until January this year to stop feeling that way. I thought I’ve been happy but I was actually just distracted. IM SO TIRED OF DISTRACTING MYSELF FROM SADNESS. I just wanna be happy again. Alone. and I cant. He moved on pretty quickly it’s like he never even cared about hurting me. I opened up to him so much. I don’t really have people to talk to about this. Every night I just cry and pray and cry and pray and wake up and distract myself. It’s a cycle and I just wanna get out of it. I don’t want him back. I just wanna be happy . If anyone cares to talk to me, give me tips.. anything. Please do it. I feel like i’m drowning in depression .. and my birthday is next friday. This isn’t a good feel.