Little green monster 😔

Ughh i feel guilty even writing this but i really need to get it out.. so me & my SIL are both pregnant i also just had a baby 10 months ago. I gained A LOT of weight i was the heaviest ive ever been i was 190lbs😔 pre pregnancy i never weighed more than 120lbs(im 5’4).. i lost all the weight then i got pregnant again 5mpp. growing up i had eating disorders & was always overly concerned about my weight even though i was constantly underweight.. ive always been pretty self conscious about my flat booty.. now that im pregnant again im gaining weight again & its all on my sides.. my booty is still flat & i have a ugly muffin top & my face is getting super chubby just like last time.. & my SIL on the other hand looks soo perfect she has a perfect little basketball bump & hasnt gained anywhere else except her boobs & booty got bigger.. i feel soo jealous of her perfect little hour glass figure. im seriously on the verge of tears every time i see her wearing something thats form fitting.. im not mad at her or anything.. i feel mad at myself & i just dont know how to get over it or at least not obsess over it.. it doesnt help that we live together.. ugh i hate this feeling 😭 & i just want to focus on my pregnancy & be happy about my baby coming & all i can see is everything wrong with my body.. has anyone else felt like this & how did you cope with these feelings??

Also please don’t comment weight loss tips i know its with good intentions but ive tried everything & i guess its just how my body handles pregnancy.. i dont want to focus on loosing weight right now because im scared i might resort to something that could harm the baby..