somethings changed idk if this is triggering

i’m a female 15 yr 5’3 152 pounds

well since 3rd grade i started getting insecure about my body from what i can remember. this boy called me fat in front of the whole class and i cried i still remember it from this day. everyday it’s constant me looking in the mirror hating what i look like, weighing myself and not getting results. on january i was going to start working out and i did i was working out for 2 hrs straight for 4 months but there wasn’t any results i’ve wanted. i’ve always been scared to go down the road of a eating disorder because i feel like i would be out of control and feel like i would disappoint my family. my mom had numerous talks with me to eat. just recently i started going on a diet it was supposed to be 900 cals a day but i decreased it to 600 then 500 and i’m loving the results but i know i don’t have a eating disorder because i’m fat always been and i want to be skinny so bad i hate how i look. it just sucks i feel like if i continue going like this it’s going to get out of control but i love how i’m committing to this diet and it’s making me realize i can do it and i keep reminding myself i can eat blah blah next week. i don’t need help. i just don’t want it to get out of control. i want to tell my mom but then i’ll just get fat again i was at 160 lbs a week ago and i don’t want to get to that point again. it was my highest weight. any advice? i’m not skinny but i want to be.