My boyfriend and I have been together two years now. Our relationship is wonderful and he’s my best friend- but we rarely have sex. I’m 23 and he’s 25. He just has no drive (for me) he still regularly watches porn and gets off that way but rarely has sex with me. This is the only thing we fight about.

Whenever I bring it up he gets angry and dismissive and it hurts my feelings because I feel so unwanted. He says he’s attracted to me and he can’t explain why he doesn’t want sex. He’s had his hormones tested and been to therapy but everything came back normal.

Finally after a year and a half of fighting about this no matter how sensitively I try to bring it up he told me to sleep with other people to get my needs met. This hurt my feelings because I felt like he’d rather have me sleep with some one else than sleep with me himself. But he insists that he’s sick of hearing about it and constantly compares sex with me to being a chore.

He says he doesn’t want to know anything about me sleeping with other people and that I just need to be safe. He said if I got pregnant or caught anything he would leave me.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. It’s been 6 months we’ve talked about this and part of me wants to do it. I feel neglected and undesirable and I really miss intimacy.

If I slept with some one else does that make me awful?

I’ve told him if it were to ever come to that I wouldn’t be comfortable with him sleeping around (because he won’t even sleep with me) and he agreed.

Am I fucked up for thinking about this?