Lost my first baby at 7 weeks

My husband and I had been ttc for almost 2 years, I finally got my bfp! I wanted this for so long, I had been yearning for this. I was taking medication to help me conceive and it finally worked! 17 days later, I started bleeding. I went to the er because I was terrified and they said it was a threatened miscarriage. Told me my cervix was closed and my hcg was low but not scary low and to come back if my bleeding got worse. The next morning it was worse, and I passed a sac with a little baby shaped piece of tissue in it. I cried so hard, I knew in that moment that I had passed my baby and I wasnt pregnant anymore. I went back to the er and got the worst news of my life. It was a miscarriage, my worst nightmare. I wanted to scream, but all I did was cry and ask my husband to come get me. (He couldnt be with me because of COVID and I've never felt lonelier) ive spent the past 6 days sitting at home, wondering what I did to deserve this, why my body betrayed me and didnt keep my baby safe. How do you recover from this? How do you bounce back from a grief like this? Losing someone you love so much but never got to hold, to kiss or show the wonders of the world? How do you heal your heart of losing the chance to give another being all of your love and devotion? How do I get past this? Will I ever feel okay again? I dont feel okay, I dont know how to get better. I'm so lost without my baby, so hurt knowing I'll never get to love them the way they deserved. How do I go on knowing that my body lost the most important being in my whole world? How do I go on? I'm so lost and dont know what to do 😭