Why even try 😩

Does anyone else feel like it’s pointless to masturbate when you’re by yourself. Like you try for a few minutes but it doesn’t feel good in any way. I need my boyfriend for it he knows exactly what I like but when I’m alone I can’t get in the mood, it kinda hurts, and my hand gets tired 😩🙄 how will I ever I figure out how I like being touched if I can’t get into it when it’s just me. I’ve also never been able to orgasm on my own, I always need him 😭