Excluding family.

So today I had a bit of a break down... idk if im being too sensitive. Maybe i am. But today i felt very hurt that my family went to the beach to go out to eat at a restaurant. My sister and her husband kids and brother, wife and kids and my mom. I only found out cause of FB... i felt really hurt even more today cause i had talked to my brother earlier asking me what i was doing and i said nothing just going to the store. And didn’t mention anything to me. They really don’t invite me to many places. And i admit that part of it is because im kind of a loner.... but I’ve always been that way.. but i feel like its always my mom and sister and brother happy family time and im never included...

So today i cried my eyes out and just texted my mom that i did not want anything to do with them. Not in a hateful way. I just told her that im done feeling less and always being taught of until the end... i feel worse than anything for my son... i feel like he will live a lonely life cause of me excluding him from his aunts and uncle and cousins, but i feel at the same time they just don’t care for us...

I feel very lonely. I have never been the “cool” person in my family or for anything in my life and i just wish for once i could feel like im missed or loved... my husband and son are definitely the only 2 that i know will always be by my side but it still hurts that i will never have that “bond” my sister and brother have and my mom has that bond with them also...

I just feel like im not loved by my family and i should just cut it now then to later get hurt even more...