I was in bed with the baby. My husband gets into bed, I’m facing away from him with eyes closed but awake. He’s on his phone. I keep hearing him turn his head to look at me as he’s scrolling. So, I turn to see what he’s looking at because he’s being a little weird, and he quickly gets out of what he was looking at and clicks on Instagram. I ask what he was looking at, he says Instagram. I call him out on hiding what he was looking at, and he says he doesn’t remember. I ask him to show me, he won’t. So I ask him if it was porn or something because yeah that’s annoying but I will get over it. I would rather be pissed and get over it than feel betrayed. He will not tell me. Then he says he doesn’t want to talk about it and can’t tell me. So I get upset, but go to sleep. The next day, I’m pissed about it still. He texts me saying it was something about this area on his body he’s insecure about and he was embarrassed. Bullshit, he had already showed that to me so that wouldn’t be something to hide. I get home from work and he’s trying to act like nothing happened. I tell him I can tell he’s still lying, he admits it. He adamantly says he can’t tell me, and eventually says it’s because he was shopping for our anniversary. He shows me his purchases. He says that he wanted me to think he forgot and surprise me.

I just don’t believe him. I chose to let it go, and he’s acting normal, I just can’t mentally get past it. He has no history of cheating, he doesn’t usually hide his phone, and the worst I’ve seen is him checking out other girls, asking my female friend to have sex with us when he was drunk, and following a ton of titty models on Instagram. We have been together 10 years, have three kids, and we have sex regularly. I just don’t see why he wouldn’t just say he’s looking at stuff for me and wants it to be a surprise. I feel like he’s making it so that if I continue to be suspicious I’m an ass hole, and he wants to turn my focus away from the lying.

Should I just let this shit go? Am I acting crazy?