Anyone else waiting to miscarry?

Sorry for the long post 😔😔😔

I know the header sounds awful and it is. I feel so alone. I'm scared and I'm ready for this to be over. Last monday, I went in at 15 dpo and had bloodwork done. My hcg was 50. That friday at 19 dpo, my bloodwork was only 52. How is the world... 😭😭 I was told on saturday that I would likely be miscarrying soon. On sunday I asked my doctor if I start taking pregnancy tests, should i start to see my lines get lighter so I can make sure my levels went back down to zero because I chose not to have anymore bloodwork done. She told me yes my lines should start getting more faint and to let her know when I get a negative test again. So i took a test that same day and had gotten the darkest test so far so I made her a deal that I would wait until today (wednesday) to take another test. If they started getting lighter I wouldn't do bloodwork, I would just let it happen. If it was darker than the other day I would go for bloodwork thursday (tomorrow). Needless to say, my test this morning was even darker than the other day. So bloodwork it is to find out what's going on. This is miscarriage number 2 and I dont have any high hopes that anything positive will miraculously come out of this but the "waiting to miscarry" part of this is so so scary and lonely. Is anyone else going through something like this? 😭😭 it is an emotional roller coaster. I still haven't had any bleeding or spotting or any cramps. I wish I knew how long this took to start.