I couldn’t follow through 😓😬

So I went for a routine doctor visit yesterday. Just as a checkup to make sure I’m all good. Then my doctor asked if I ever had a Pap smear, I said no. So she was like “well if you want I could do it today, it’s recommended starting at age 21 all girls get it done every three years.”

Despite me still being a virgin and not at high risk for cervical cancer, I was like aight why not!

Well holy fuck, that was a huge no-go. I wasn’t nervous at first, but putting my feet up on those stirrups...the nerves kicked in.

Then she mentioned the spatula...SPATULA ? I just instantly pictured spongebob’s fry cook spatula for some reason like ??

So I was like mkay, let’s see how this goes but I gotta say, not exactly a fan of the idea of a s p a t u l a goin up my vag..when the only thing that’s ever been up there has been my fingers 😅

Then she starts going it. It was okay at first. She said “let me know if you need me to stop, it’ll feel a little painful.” At first all I felt was pressure so I’m like, nah I ain’t no bitch let’s do this.

I thought (??) I was pretty relaxed. But then....I was like hm this cANT be right. This is way too far. Felt like a metal rod was pushing against the bottom of my STOMACH.

So, I unintentionally started crying out “ow ow ow ow ow”..but it kept going FURTHER.

Like...shit...how long is a vagina ??? You gonna shove that fry cook spatula up to my lungs ?? Then she stopped pushing when I just kept saying “owowowowowowowowowwww”

And she goes “do you want me to stop or keep going?”

Like excuse me, keep GOING? You still have FURTHER to push?? Wtf I swear that spatula was gonna come out of my throat.

So instantly I replied “nope nope nope, no more” 😂

So she took it out and goes “that’s okay, it’ll be easier once you become sexually active”

And now I’m thinking....how painful is losing my virginity gonna be ....

It often hurts when my boyfriend puts ONE finger up there too far, even when I’m wet !! The thought of a big ol’ hard penis going all the way up ... lord ....even in my horniest of states, I’m not sure I can be relaxed enough for that ...

One good thing that did come out of that doctors visit though is that I got put on birth control for the first time ever... so .... soon enough I’ll be able to lose my virginity ..with peace of mind ...

But y’all. Pray for my vagina when the time comes.

Update:

I am highly embarrassed at my multiple uses of the word “spatula”, thinking this entire time it was a f*cking spatula in my vag. I am a 23 year old woman. Lord help me