Mixed race friends, do you find this offensive?

Question

I have 3 white grandparents and one middle eastern. Grew up in white culture (moms side) as my bio dad wasn’t in the picture. I honestly have just always called myself white to people, but if someone really cares or wants to know more I would say “yea I’m like 75% white and 25% middle eastern”
I have a good friend who is a quarter black. Same percentage as me, 3 white grandparents 1 black. I’ll just use 🙋🏽‍♀️ as her name lol. 
Both of us look like White girls who just tan very well, dark wavy “white textured” hair and straight, thin noses.
We have a gal who we just became friends with a year or so ago. I’ll call her 💁🏻‍♀️. She is fully white.
last week we were texting about the BLM movement and all the stuff going on, and I said something like “yea and it’s crazy, 🙋🏽‍♀️ isn’t even 100% white, but has experienced lots of racism in her life”. Which is true, she grew up in a very small conservative town and felt with racism just because she’s slightly off white.
💁🏻‍♀️ immediately got upset and said “wow not cool, 🙋🏽‍♀️ is black, this isn’t about percentages”. I don’t think she know yet that I am part Syrian.
I was a bit confused and texted 🙋🏽‍♀️ separately, and she said often mixed people don’t like being referred to like “30% this 50% that. I told her thank you for letting me know, and now I know for the future, and that was kind of that.
I’m just curious if you personally dislike or think it’s rude/offensive to use percentages in conversation with mixed people? I’m just curious to hear from others, as I never thought about it before when referring to myself in that way 🙂

Answer

my mom is white, and my dad is black. i don’t have the ability to pass as white, and therefore, i identify as black. 🤷🏽‍♀️ i know some biracial people who are white passing who then identify as white... but for the most part, everyone i know prefers to not be told that they’re “not really black” or “barely black” or any variation of that. black is black is black. it’s really refreshing that you’re receptive to feedback and growth. keep it up! ❤️✊🏽

Answer

I identify as white because I am racially white and teying to say anything otherwise is just inaccurate.
But my culture is a product of colonization. My being white does not negate that I am Mexican. percentages dont matter to me and in my experience only matter to people who are trying tk invalidate someones identity, or experiences with their culture/ethnicity/race.

Answer

Kinda at a point in my life where I just don’t really care anymore. Some people call me white, others (with a more “trained” eye) will see that I’m mixed. 
I very rarely have to ever explain my ethnicity in person though. Unless someone is genuinely curious. 
I’ve always referred to myself as a mixed Latina especially as a kid because I felt it would invalidate one of my parents had I just chose one side. 
I know I “look white” , and I know why I look the way I do (genetics & history  are a trip) , so if someone calls me one race or the other it just doesn’t even bother me anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️
But I certainly wouldn’t be offended if someone who knew my ethnic break down cared to share it. Especially in a topic like that.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ but I can see where one may take offense, just kinda feel like context is key here

Answer

I’m mixed with Korean, Scandinavian and African. I don’t care to talk about percentages because I am what I am. When it comes to percentages, to me it’s trying to validate who people will see you more as. That’s not a problem for some but it is for me. If I was fully white, both of my parents would be white. If I was full Korean so would my parents and so on but that’s not the case. I don’t look at myself as one thing. When people ask me what I am I say mixed or I name what I am mixed with.

Answer

Im not mixed race, i accept corrections if i am talking something wrong! 
Isnt middle eastern an ethnicity? You can be white (race) AND middle eastern (ethnic group), I'm dont think you'd need to say "I'm X% white and Y% middle eastern" because you're adding two different things that dont really add to each other, they can both coexist. The same way someone can be white and latino.

Answer

I don’t really use percentages when I refer to myself, I’m half black and half white. But if others want to refer to themselves in percentages it doesn’t bother me.

Answer

Im mixed race. Black and mexican, period. The percentage isnt necessary to mention, nor is it necessary to list every little one. Mixed is mixed. Its better personally to just say the 2 most prominent parts. Like i wouldnt say im black, mexican, indian and white. Im Black first and then Mexican. Its not really offensive just stupid honestly. I never fit into my community growing up because i was a light skin black girl yet i wasnt mexican enough and couldn't speak Spanish so i was stuck with minimal friends who happen to be white and only 1 was black.
If you order a mixed drink that has rum and coke, you say its a mixed drink or a rum and coke. Not 20% rum and 80% coke. Get it?

Answer

Im part asian, both my parents are mixed as well as my grandparents. I call myself a black woman and never even mention my mix unless someone specifically asks about my background. I am black passing, and everyone sees me as such. 
I dont find percentages offensive, it’s literally what you are.

Answer

My LO is half middle eastern, quarter North African and a quarter white. It’s impossible to tell what he is by looking at him, just confusing 😄 I have no idea how he will identify himself but it’s great to hear your POVs here, hope I can help him in the future.

Answer

My mom is Dominican and italian my dad is black and honestly I don't because people are different some people like percentages and some don't I personally do so people don't just call me what they want because that is annoying as hell when you just assume someone else's race

Mixed race friends, do you find this offensive?

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