When you know you should leave but don't think you will find better.

I will start by saying yes I know I have self esteem issues and I am in therapy doing counseling. I have been with my husband for a total of 13 yrs. I know I settled for him but I am not a girl who had guys after her or people hitting on her. I figured after a few horrible relationships he was as good as I could get and it was good usually. He is kind of an ass though and I know that. He doesn't compliment or tell anyone they are doing well...ever. He doesn't apologize when he makes mistakes. He always has to be right. He gets angry easily and when he does then refuses to talk so it just ends and we never revisit issues. He knows I have been sexually abused but still gets mad if I ask him not to do certain things that trigger me. He is awful in bed and trying new things has actually injured me because he is so clumsy and uncaring. He wants sex all the time to the point it isn't fun for me anymore but no matter how/why I say no he gets upset and makes me feel bad. He ignores me. He forgets anniversaries/bdays/mothers day and just says he is bad at that stuff. Anytime he doesn't want to do something he will just claim it makes uncomfortable from things like calling in a togo order to calling my mom on her 60th bday. I had a career path going but it stalled due to circumstances outside my control. He was still in school for a career that would be stable all the time (tax accountant) but it took him extra years to finish, then he procrastinated his professional tests and failed them a ton before finally passing them. It kept us in a city I hated but he wouldn't go faster. I didn't go to grad school so we could pay for his stuff knowing he should have the solid career. It took 6 years for what takes most 3. He also expects me to be the exact same person I was when we met at 19 and is mad our relationship is different now. I know all this is my fault for staying and I am not looking for advice or sympathy I just needed to write this out. I know I deserve better but probably won't leave which is why I don't want any one to feel sorry. I willingly gave up a better career and life so that is 100% my fault. Anybody reading this...if you feel this way don't be me. Leave and be happy. I am not happy I just get by day to day..some days bring joy most though are just a day before the next. Don't be me ladies. Do better. Demand better. Don't settle.