I’m pretty sure I’m suffering from

Some type of ppd at this point I can’t get thru two days straight without crying or wanting to cry and being so mad like enraged - is that part of ppd ?

I am so impatient with my toddler and my baby does not sleep wel.l.

I told my husband how I felt the first kid and he said I jsut need more sleep and so he tried to help here n there and I basically roughed it out and it was awful and now with this pregnancy and kid we said we would hire help but now with covid we don’t want to expose the babies. I am struggling and feel so over wheelmen and enraged and exhausted - just physically and mentally I am so worn out.

My husband keeps saying go back to work that will be your break and get more sleep . I was having thoughts of wanting to kill myself and told

Him no it’s not that I just need more sleep I need help ! He finally listened for liek half a day a day and I found a social worker in our insurance but she wasn’t helpful I’ve talked to her twice. She seems lost about ppd. I can barely find time to talk to her and even when I go downstairs both kids are crying and I have to scramble to

Make dinner or lunch . I told my husband I found some

Not in network people that focus on ppd and he was annoyed that we would have to pay for them- get the help u need but how long is this going to take ? We can’t afford $150 a season for months that’s too expensive !

I feel like everything’s about money for him. Like I need to go back to work so I can make money for the family and contribute even though he makes enough but he’s obsessed with investing and saving for retirementZ I jsut want to scream at him if I kill myself I won’t make it to retirement I don’t ducking care about your stOcks ! I need an au pair or a nanny to soemthing because I am drowning and feel so unsupported. He doesn’t even sleep in my bedroom anymore because the baby wakes up too much. I admit he does help more than with thr last baby but I feel so controlled. He didn’t do anything special for Mother’s Day and that really hurt my feelings and ever since then I’ve jsut been spiraling more out of control I feel. I don’t know how to get thru to him or how to find the help I need 😣I don’t think I would actually kill my self but I am just so tired of hearing eveyrone cry at the same time 😑😑😑😑