How do you find a good man?

Question

I apparently need to be taught. How in the world do you find a man that doesn't cheat and actually appreciates you?
I had everything I ever wanted in life, but I wasn't enough for him and he left for someone else. And then went through several other women 🙄
It's taken me 2 years, but I actually see my worth and I know I'm an incredible person. I'm finally ready to get back into dating and I would be a great partner, but I don't know how to find someone that would love me as much I love.

Answer

I happened to fall in love with a man I had met in high school. But we didn’t reconnect till years later. 
I knew he was the perfect man because it was easy to be with him.
I didn’t have to try and make a relationship work.
No arguments or belittling. No name calling or other things I had experienced before.
I didn’t go out looking for a good guy. It just happened.
You just have to go with your gut. If a relationship doesn’t feel right, you have zero obligation to stay in that relationship if you are unhappy.
Wait till it feels right with someone. 
In my mind, I don’t think relationships/marriages should be hard work.
It should just flow and feel right and be easy. 
Everyone feels differently though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

i dated all shit hole men
i met my husband at the place i was working at the time, he had just started working with me. i did not find him attractive but he was quiet and kind. we grew a friendship and he made me laugh and forget about shitty things. 
eventually i fell in love with him. 
it is usually the ones you least expect—those are the right ones.

Answer

Men my age are all scrubs so I just date older😂it’s worked like a charm so far

Answer

Don’t go searching and chasing 🤷‍♀️ I gave up on dating and men after getting burned a million times but on a random whim went on a dating app just to pass time on my night shift and talked to my future husband for an hour, met the next morning and been together since. I had no plans of actually going on a date that night. Didn’t really even want to meet my now husband 😂 it just worked out that he was respectful, funny, attractive, sweet etc. It feels like several people I know found the loves of their lives when they stopped putting pressure on it. Go out and try some dates but don’t get too caught up in it.

Answer

I've never been cheated so I can't speak to that, but I found that men close to my age were generally not a good fit. We had nothing in common - they wanted to play video games, hang out at the gym, drink with their friends, and didn't take their faith seriously. I found what I was looking for in a significantly older man. I was 29 and my husband was 47 when we met. He was a divorced single father (with sole custody) of three teenagers who had been single for a decade. He had been through hell with his ex-wife and had spent years getting his kids home and healthy. He was very serious about his faith, didn't play stupid mind games, said what meant and followed through on commitments made, read books, and enjoyed other pursuits I shared. He was and is very much God and family first. We'll celebrate our eighth anniversary in September and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry you had such a crummy experience. Go slow when you meet someone new. Ask lots of questions and keep your eyes and ears open. My mum used to tell me to put my heart on hold and use my head when I was dating. That's good advice, I think. Our hearts can be very blind.

Answer

I agree with everyone saying just focus on yourself. I went through a nasty divorce and took time to myself afterwards to reconnect with my old friends, pursue my own hobbies, work out, etc. Ended up getting together with my current SO who happens to be my good friends little brother. Lol! I had known him for years and thought he was cute but who knew that we’d be where we are now. He is amazing and my best friend and partner in life. We have a truly great relationship 99% of the time. It is my first time being in a positive healthy relationship where we both make each other the best possible versions of ourselves, individually and together. It will happen for you!💗

Answer

My number one piece of advice is don’t lower your standards! Okay if your standards are unrealistic (6’5”, Brown hair, blue eyes, 6 figure job who plays at least 2 sports) you can rethink them but standards of what you need and want in the relationship? Keep them strong!
I lowered my standards and wasted my time on a fuckboy because I thought it was the best I could do. Once I realized what I deserved, I stopped searching, found my worth as a single woman and let go of that desperation for a relationship. Boom, a few months later I met my SO who is a perfect gentleman, open with his emotions, comforting, hypes me up constantly, and who I just have a great vibe and deep friendship with. 
Find time for yourself, discover yourself and know your worth

Answer

I had a lot of trouble finding a guy who didn’t cheat or lie, and then I went to therapy.  Helped so much!!!

Answer

It’s trial and error, really. The sad thing is, we never truly know people. There are a bunch of stories out there of people being happily married for decades and then they find out their spouse is living some double life. What I’m saying is, you can only control yourself. You cannot predict what a seemingly honest and kind person can do in the future. So you have to see how they treat you, how they treat others, and just put faith and trust into them. I love my boyfriend. I feel that he loves me. He tells me, he shows me, and we often talk about our plans for the future. But someday he could randomly be like “nah nevermind.” And there isn’t anything I would be able to do to prevent that. I can just determine how he is right now and decide if I enjoy his company or not. 
This sounds really negative, but I’m just trying to say that sometimes there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. You were a good person and were genuine. He seemed it but turned out to not be. Live in the moment! True love and happy relationships can be a gamble. You give so much to your partner. Just know yourself and be true with your intentions without being naive, and I think you can ultimately attract the perfect match who is happy to spend the rest of your lives together.

How do you find a good man?

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