thought during a loss..

I should have been coming up on 12 weeks based off lmp but really around 8 weeks by my dates ...babies heart rate was always slow and they never got bigger than 6.1 weeks so sunday i started bleeding and i still am .... as much as it sucks to see ultrasound of babies at the age mine should have been just sucks to know i’m at square one ..... but i have found positivity ...

1. this was suppose to my 4th and last baby so i assumed i was doing all my last first but now i get to do that again seeing that line appear ,the first ultrasound, those first weeks i get to do that again ..,

2. since this was suppose to be my last pregnancy i am now excited to meet the soul that wouldn’t have been created.. i can’t wait to meet my rainbow baby one day knowing they wouldn’t have been here with out this loss.

3. i have 3 beautiful kids already 12,6,2 and i’m lucky to have them and if a 4th isn’t possible it’s ok (sucky) but ok.

i’m thankful for this babies part in my story to my rainbow 🌈