I’m pregnant but don’t want to be..

The Lord saved me from a very dark past. I got pregnant at 18 & gave my life to Jesus & gave up the darkness.

Now I’m 21. I got into a relationship with a “Godly” man in January. He’s not exactly the man I thought he was. He’s lead me into deception. I didn’t want to have sex until marriage because I felt the Lord strongly put that on my heart.

This guy pulled my full attention away from the Lord. Lead me into temptation & we had sex. He said it’s not sin because we’re married in our hearts. its been a horrible cycle of having sex & me telling him it’s making me become insensitive the Lords leading. I ask the Lord for forgiveness. Then the cycle repeats. This has been going on for 2 months. Horrible I know I’m so stupid!

Now I’m 6 weeks pregnant & I DO NOT WANT TO BE. This guy got me pregnant on purpose because I told him not to finish in me. Then he says “uh oh” .. that it just happened. Whatever.

I’m actually at my fiat prenatal visit right now. Heart beat was heard & seen. This is horrible but I’m not happy. I feel so bad for doing this to my daughter too because I’m not in the position to have a baby. My daughter & I still live with my parents. She’s my world I love her so much I can’t believe I’ve allowed this to happen!

My family is going to shame me & be so disappointed. They don’t know & I don’t want them to know. I’m condemning myself. Please give me any advise you have.

I would like to give the baby up for adoption, but I know the father of this baby will not go through with that. Now I don’t even want to be with this guy, but I am.

I feel so horrible for backsliding this badly.

I made this choice now I have to face it.

Disobedience leads to curse