Why am I still so paranoid?

My lo is a year old and I’m still so afraid of sids. I’ve always been deathly afraid of it. She sleeps through the night now and every morning when I wake up and she’s not awake I’m afraid that I’ll walk into her room and she’ll be...I don’t even want to say it. Why am I so afraid of it? What can I do to help ease my paranoia?