When you witness toxic mental abuse...

I have a small group of friends and it is so toxic. As the older person of the group, the only mom, I tend to stay quiet and sort of watch from the outside. I like to listen and if anyone needs anything, I’m there for them. However, as a mom my mental health is important to me. One of the friends started a group chat months ago. It’s insanely dramatic. It’s almost impossible for everyone to have a normal conversation with one another. It’s an episode of mean girls with adult woman.

The youngest in the group is pregnant. She is a typical narcissist personality. I know her also because she is a co-worker of my husbands and gives him and their other co-workers a hard time almost daily at work. She chose to get pregnant. Now she is complaining that nobody cares for her as she is in the military and shouldn’t be working doing what she does. I’ve always been understanding and will offer her advice when needed. But, having had a high risk pregnancy myself, I know that she often lies a lot about certain things. She gets away with it because she works with men. She has even told me she is happy to be in the military because she is getting paid now for doing nothing.

Her work has literally given her a desk job while she is pregnant so she isn’t in the heat, working with chemicals, lifting anything. She still complains.

The other day, everyone started complaining about the Covid situation. They have have had various issues with their own workplaces. The pregnant girl chimes in saying she has a high risk pregnancy (she doesn’t) and that nobody cares for her, etc. I was late to the text because I was out doing mom things...grocery shopping, working, etc.

After she complained, the other two woman replied briefly to her and said they were sorry she was having a bad day.

SHE WENT OFF! She screenshot their replies and told them they were rude and ignorant of her well-being. She told them they were bad friends because they sucked at trying to relate to her. These other woman don’t have kids.

This isn’t the first time she has gone off on us before. Thankfully I want included this time, but I have been in the past. She’s a very argumentative person, so she tends to take even the most light hearted conversations and turns them into something they are not. I’ve seen her lose friends and family members just

within the last few months because she picks fights and lashes out. I know she has some deep issues and her mental health is not good, so I think everyone tries to walk on eggshells around her. But she is also an adult, she s a supportive husband, and made her own choice to get pregnant during the pandemic.

Anyway, after all this happened everyone apologizes to her. One friend is even offering to pay for a massage for her. The girl offering the massage will message me talking smack about the pregnant girl, telling me she isn’t ready to be a mom, and then group chat everyone saying she loves everyone and blah. I can’t take it.

My thing is: I am all for being a good friend. I’m all for supporting and uplifting one another. But, is it really healthy to react by showering her with gifts? Isn’t the cycle going to just keep repeating itself?