Okay guys, this is it. I'm awake because tomorrow (technically today already) is my 1st appt and my 7wk ultrasound. This is only my second pregnancy. I lost the first in January, after 2 years of trying. Last time things looked good early on, but my 7 wk scan showed a yolk sac but no baby. I'm so scared. Like, I'm sitting on my couch shaking. Things are very different this time, in many ways, and I know I got further than I did last time... but I'm still scared. Not scared. Petrified. I did really good staying positive most of these last 3 wks... but now that the moment of truth is here, I'm scared to know. I'm listening to calm music and trying to be calm, but I cannot. I don't want it to end. I'm happy, right now, in this moment. I'm so scared that what they tell me tomorrow will change that. I'm also 39 this week, and can't afford <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">ivf</a> or even a specialist, so I don't know how many more chances I will have. The last miscarriage nearly destroyed me, too- I have chronic health problems and they all blew up and went nuts, I guess from the stress. That seems like ancient history now...

I want this one to be my baby. I feel like some of you understand this feeling. Maybe all of you. I hope someone does. Oh, I'm so scared. I'm ugly crying. Update soon to follow. 🤞🤰👶✨❤

I should add that I'm not having any adverse symptoms, but I never did last time either, and I also had pregnancy symptoms weeks after I'd already lost it, so that's not comforting me right now like I'd like it to. Oh my nerves!!! Please, little berry, have a tiny heartbeat for mama. Please.