I will try to make this short. My sister, BIL, and two nieces drove to Missouri from California to visit us. My mom, myself, and my dad all live in the area. She drove because flying isn’t very safe right now and made my BIL too nervous. Since they were driving, I agreed to see them. I am 11 weeks pregnant and not taking any chances with COVID due to the lack of research regarding pregnancy.

When she got here, I found out she was taking 5 days in the middle of her trip to go visit a friend she games with online. She has never met this person. I knew she had wanted to see them, but initially they were meeting in CO. I thought this person lived in CO and she would drive there. The friend lived in Houston and she has as flying to see her. We all begged her not to go. For a million reasons. Her husband wasn’t comfortable with it at all. He still had to work remotely at my mom’s and try to manage the kids while she was away, and he had major anxiety about her trip, as their relationship has been rough for a while.

Before she left, I had mentioned several times that since Houston is a hot spot and she is flying, myself and my family can’t see her when she comes back. I mentioned this as soon as I knew it was Houston. She never said anything. Finally, I sat her down two days before and made it abundantly clear. I told her it wasn’t a punishment, but that I had to protect my family. I told her I was very sad.

She went. She came back. I feel upset that she put my BIL through all the stress while she was away. I selfishly feel angry that she chose an internet stranger over spending time with me. I know it sounds unreasonable, but I thought with everything mounting, she would just reschedule the trip. She was sooo adamant about going,

Yesterday I texted her to make sure she was still going to see our dad. She always visits and skips him. She was supposed to see him the other day and didn’t go. She told me to stop micromanaging her. I explained that he is excited to see her and I just don’t want her to bail again. I also expressed feeling upset that she cut me out of the trip by taking her trip. I expressed feeling upset that she is putting our entire family and hers at risk by staying with my mom.

Now it’s a big fight. Everyone is bad at me. My feelings aren’t valid and I am selfish, apparently. Nothing she did was wrong or selfish at all.

She said my mom said I said she was being unfaithfully her trip. The entire time she was gone, I was the one reassuring my BIL that she would never do that to him. My mom and BIL assumes she was cheating. I always defended her honor. So I then I was mad at my mom and BIL for spreading lies I never said.

Now everyone is mad at me and they may leave to go home early. I don’t feel like I am the villain here for expressing my feelings. She called me names. She said I was naive to be afraid of this virus as a pregnant woman. She never apologized for making me feel second to an internet stranger. She thinks she is perfect, I guess.

I want to fix things, but I refuse to take more blame than I am responsible for.