Confused, Conflicting Baby Fever

I am a girl, raised in many "unhealthy environments", with mental health disorders to add to that. I also graduated high school with my class. However, one of the main things that has kept me going throughout all my conflicts, the dream of bringing a family into the world. I have longed to have a child for a long time. I feel ashamed about how I have these thoughts. I am confused. Some of my family/friends knows, and doesn't care because they know me. But others would look at me like a freak for being young. 

I've also noticed my baby fever gets worse atound the late autumn/early winter months. I know I have a lot of things I would need to do before TTC, but I also want to start nesting for that time.

Please be kind, I am looking for opinions, not hate. Thanks if you read the whole thing, means a lot.