Anxiety and sex
Let's start this off very directly, I'm not going to sugar coat here.
I was raped a few years ago, and that's partially due to sexual abuse as a child (long story).
I'm posting because I'd usually handled sex pretty well, I was careful and took my time losing my virginity. I was always with people I trusted.
But this new guy, after a couple weeks of regularly having great sex, every time he touches me I freak out.
He's not doing anything wrong. We're platonic otherwise, just like the other guy I was really really comfy with.
My last relationship was a tad (I'm being sarcastic) toxic. Maybe a tad. It really fucked me up as far as my confidence ad comfort in sex goes.
Can anyone with a similar experience or knowledge on the topic give me help? I want to have sex and enjoy it, but something just makes me feel like I'm dying and I don't know what it is.
I know I should just talk to him, but I'm nervous about it because we don't ever talk about the sex. We just sort of hang out and forget about it afterwards, which is something that used to be really good for me. And we're not particularly the kind of friends that share really vulnerable moments.
I'm not here for pity and apologies, please just advice. I love this community and would really appreciate the help.
Thank you all.