I debated for a week whether I was going to post this. Was planning on ranting to my bestie but she's been mia.

Anyway. I'm 28weeks pregnant, 4th pregancy but will be 3rd kid. My rainbow baby.

Every pregancy I get HG- the amazing debilitating morning sickness. I moved to the states for my husband but during pregnancies I return home-Canada- for my family's help and my amazing health care. I've worked after 1st baby but sahm ever since the 2nd. Oldest is 4 in Sept, mid is 2 in Sept and then this babe in sept/Oct.

Alright let's begin!!

I feel like every pregnacy I want to leave my husband.

This is a man who's life hasn't REALLY changed after kids. He goes to work, pays mortgage, plays or washes up the kids for an hour call it a day.

There's no financial support other than roof over our heads- omg that's a great thing right???-

I mean literally we moved into a brand new home last Aug. I have furnished this 4k sqft home. I buy groceries kids clothes and necessities, even my husband's clothing for work. But I'm a sahm! Past 4yrs I've been living off of 17kcad I had saved for a down payment on a house back b4 I met my husband. I worked at a department store in Canada and bought majority of our household furnishings b4 crossing the border.

And I'm a pretty amazing shopper.

K so that 17k basically depleted over the past 4yrs. And I started harping on him that he needs to give me a stipend. Since January.

He said okay. In December I took out a 8k loan because he wanted to buy land beside an apt building we own. Forgot to mention- he has a 100k+job, and we have a 14unit apt fully rented out- so where's the money daddy. Anyway remember I'm Canadian with no credit in the states yet. So that 8kusd loan cost Me 11kcad.

K so every month I get charged the interest of 98$. Starting January. I also asked for a stipend starting January. I found out I was pregnant in mid feb so back to Canada I fled.

Then covid hit. Borders closed. He's not affected.

I might be staying with my parents but we came with 1 suitcase and kids grow...so do I with this pregnancy. So ive been buying clothes toys baby food diapers formula...life.

How much has my husband sent me?

348$. Now please everyone this is since Feb. Remember the loan and interest he also needs to pay 98$cad/month. Yess I can call this man and say I need money for diapers- or she would like a bike- or they outgrew their shoes. I've received that measly number above.

So of course this makes a rift in our relationship. My Pillsbury dough boy keeps eating his own dough. I am a permenant resident in the states. We got a 15k tax return I told him to pay off his cards ( he was complaining about them.) We got 3.4k stimulus we were going to use on a fence for the new home. He gave me 2.2k to hold and took his 1.2k for I dunno. After not receiving any money From him; I started to spend from mine n kids stimulus. Packages started arriving at the house- this man went insane about where I was getting the money-didnt we agree it was for the fence- blah blah blah( I spent 400, he doesnt see my account)

Listen up that's just 1 reason I want to leave.

The second is when it comes to our kids I'm sure he loves them probably emotionally more than me but during pregnancies he doesnt do anything as in I pick their names 1st and middle and never get any input( not a horrible thing just a lonely thing) he bought a 1.2k stroller for our 1st and hasnt bought anything else for the babes to follow he harps on the 1.2k stroller as if the crib change table, Dresser and chest,diapers clothes and everthing else doesnt come close to the price.

The part I'm most confused about which I think people wont understand is that whenever I'm pregnant he does big deals. 1st baby he bought a house to flip- he was very busy and we ended up 30k shorter than expected.

2nd baby he sold his new jersey rental and bought our apt complex ( selling the jersey home meant he stayed with me for 3days after newborn then left to go clean and close deal for like a week)

THIS BABY our gardner is losing his house so he's buying it 40k out of pocket and a loan.

He says hes making sure we have a future. I litteraly told him 2days ago I woke up and felt like I need a divorce. Ive spoken to him and let him know and reminded him how alone I feel every pregnancy. And not to mention ppd after. I'm not going to be there in the future if u cant give me the attention now. He calls to talk everyday...nothing on money he needs to send me nothing about baby everything solely about business.

Or maybe im crazy and should just be grateful?

I want more. Oh he wont do counselling he believes we are a okay!!!