Feeling alone

Today is the two month mark since my brother passed away. I feel so alone. I’ve spent the whole day alone. I was able to get out and go to my 30 week prenatal check up but because of COVID I had to come straight home.

My DH was meeting with our Pastor tonight at his house to go over our church’s books. I’ve been so sad all day and I asked him if I could come with. He asked me “uhh.... why?” and I told him I haven’t wanted to be alone today. He said “uhhh.... I.... guess?” and looked really confused at me. Seeing as it was pushing too much I told him it was okay and I’d just stay home. He told me “I’m only planning to be there for a half hour so I don’t know why you’d want to come.” So I just told him I’d find something to do here at home.

So now I’m here at home alone and can’t go anywhere because of COVID. When he left I broke down crying because I miss my brother and I feel alone.