So I had already realized that my friends were lousy already. I had two really close friends and they both sucked at texting me. With my bf from middle school, she would just forget to reply. I got sick of keeping on the convo so I just stopped reaching out. I’ll reply if she texts first but then eventually she will forget to reply. Like she just reached out to ask what was going on. I actually had a lot of big things but she stopped replying. It sucks because we have known each other for so long. The other is a friend from high school. We spoke a lot especially more after high school. She seemed sour when I started dating my boyfriend. Although it didn’t affect my relationship with her. I really think she was jealous because she wanted a bf. I think that’s when she drifted away. Last I spoke to her she was dating someone yet she still sucks at talking.

I’m just sick of carrying the convos so I stopped putting as much effort in.

I ended up relying on my bf for socializing. I became more introverted and really only hung out with him or we’d go do things with his friends. We actually went on vacation with them recently. I thought I got pretty close with them.

Now my boyfriend is getting surgery and has to quarantine. So I really haven’t socialized. Even his friends haven’t invited me to things. Like a few of the girls were hanging at a pool. The one girl has only been dating her guy from the group for a few months meanwhile I’ve been around for well over a year and I still don’t get invited.

I’m just really lonely and I’m realizing that I don’t have any good friends. But I honestly have no way of meeting new friends with covid shorting down gatherings.