My husband had a very brief emotional affair with someone at his old place of work. After I found out I insisted that he get transferred immediately, which he did so immediately. The lady he had the affair with left just after him, to go somewhere else quite far away (about a 50 minute drive).

He's been at his current job now since last year Feb and he's incredibly unhappy. They initially treated him well but since they got a new manager, things have gone downhill. This new manager has a HORRIBLE management style and believes that belittling people will somehow make them want to be better. He gets called names, mocked, told he can't organise a piss up in a brewery, etc.

So he got a phone call from his old boss today asking him to come back, promised him room for growth, etc. And he's decided to take it, and I want him to because he has so much potential and it's being wasted here.

But just the thought of him going brings up so many emotions and feelings. This woman persued him despite being married and despite knowing he was married and my husband, the idiot that he is, fell for it (we had LOTS of counselling).

I know I decided to stay in the marriage and I should just move on, but I can't help it. Plus this job is further away and it would require him to be out the house an additional two hours a day.

I just want to know if my feelings are validated.

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Thanks for the replies guys. As I said in my post, I want him to go to a place where he can grow and I am supporting him on this (I said that I want him to go, he's being wasted at his current job).

As someone else said, it mostly brings up bad memories. I never thought twice about what happened after our counselling and these feelings and insecurities are just flooding right back.

Also, I do blame him as well for being an idiot and falling for her ways. I absolutely can put some blame on her for purposely persuing a married man, and I put a lot of blame on him for not sticking to his morals, hence he's an idiot. But we have moved on, again it's just bringing up old emotions.