How should I plan my birth #2?

We are ttc 2 and I almost died the first time around 9 lb baby, incompetent cervix, gained 70 lbs, I couldn’t even walk at the store anymore. Yes I used those scooter things super embarrassing. The hardest thing was when my son was born I had diastasis recti so I couldn’t push and pushed for 2 hours with no progress. They used forceps and that is when I almost died I lost a liter of blood and went into shock and was hemorrhaging and stuff. I didn’t get to hold my son nor nurse him and was fighting to stay alive for 2 hours. Finally I got a blood transfusion and stabilized. My body still suffers because my son consumed like all my muscles too. I really want to try to give birth the second time, but I don’t want them using forceps at all because I feel that is why I went into shock. Is c-section ok if I am unable to push again? I just want a better experience I am still so traumatized. Any advice? What would you do?