Where do I begin?

First time mom to be and I’m scared.

I have RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and my medications are doing well. But can’t help but be scared for my baby. I’ve been waiting for this day for so long and it’s finally here but I can’t stop crying at night. I’m afraid my depression and anxiety will haram my baby. I’m pretty much alone in this and not living around any family and friends. Advice?

Also would love to know what sites and stores can I sign up for to start getting free samples?