How to survive newborn stage?

Question

I have 16 weeks old (7 weeks corrected as they were 9 weeks premature) twins and am at a loss. We knew it would be difficult but nothing prepares us for this. 
We are maintaining them on the same eating schedule (if one wakes to eat then we wake the other) as I’m tandem breastfeeding, the crazy reflux they had that required us to hold them upright in someone’s arms 24/7 until two weeks ago has finally improved significantly and they sometimes do sleep at the same time overnight (we try to encourage this as much as we can but some nights they’re complete opposites which means I hardly get any sleep). 
They are extremely fussy, usually always one of them fussing/crying and difficult to calm down. Going for walks and drives sometimes helps and are currently our best options. We have my parents living with us to help us 24/7 but can’t maintain this much longer which means I’ll be alone with the girls soon. 
The babies only do up to 20 mins at a time in the swing, same for the play mat. They often want to be held but even then one of them is usually fussing, and they refuse to nap anywhere other than on us daytime (though somehow we finally got them to sleep in their bassinets overnight about two weeks ago 🤷‍♀️)
Im at a loss trying to understand how I can do this all day long by myself? (My husband il be here at times but so far we really need to be 3 people so that one per baby and another person to cook/clean/run errands).
Do you just leave the babies in their swing to cry for hours? Am I just being overly sensitive on not wanting to do so? 
Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated as I truly feel that I’m failing as a mother so far :(

Answer

I want to start off by saying, there is no other mama on this earth that is a better mama for those girls! 
Second, follow Taking Cara Babies on Instagram and buy her sleep guides if you can! She is absolutely incredible and has completely boosted my confidence in being a mommy. You’ve got this girlfriend!

Answer

Hey girl. I could’ve written this 9 years ago. (I have identical twin boys). They hated EVERYTHING. Cried for about the first year of their life. Wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t sleep. My husband worked also, and all I can tell you is that I’m living proof that you can survive this. Honestly, do whatever you can to get by. Routines, not schedules, were good for us, but with two, even those couldn’t be stuck to all the time. I think we sleep trained at 6 months, with the graduated CIO method. And that helped some, but yours are still a little young for that. I will tell you, once they are able to sit up and play independently, it gets a little easier. There are lots of tunnels raising twins, but there are lights at the end of every one! Literally just survive. Keep them safe and comfortable. Lots of caffeine. It does get better!

Answer

I wish I had some advice for you. I have twins that are a month old born 6 weeks early on July 18. One has reflux really bad just diagnosed yesterday and I am pretty the other has it too just not as bad. We have a doc appt this week so I will find out. They are not on the same feeding schedule so sleeping is impossible. They will pretty much only go to sleep if I'm holding them. My anxiety is also very high which makes sleeping even worse. I have been using their swings lately when both my husband and I are busy. But usually we try to keep one of us free. Everyone keeps telling me it takes time but everything will work out.

Answer

I think that right now you are doubting yourself. You can do this you definitely need relief at times so you can rest!
If you have a baby carrier that you wear them do that during the day. Wear them and walk them around the house as you do small things (don’t overwhelm yourself) whatever doesn’t get done daddy can do it.
It would have been ideal for your parents to stay for another month to help you get them on a schedule but we get that they cannot stay.

Answer

If you have the money for a night nurse, look into it!!!!!!! You deserve it!!!!!!!

Answer

Reflux babies are tough, momma. There was a very significant difference between caring for my babies with severe reflux vs those who didn't have it. Yes all babies are demanding, but reflux babies are a different level of exhausting, and you have 2 on top of that. If changing the diet doesn't help, also try a combo of gripe water and gas drops. I've heard infant chiropractors can help tremendously as well. Once my reflux babies started solids, I saw a big improvement. You may want to talk to your pediatrician about early solids. One of my reflux babies she approved and she took to solids very easily at 4.5 months. All I can say is that it is about survival, so forgive yourself for the messy house and laundry and eating sandwiches for dinner, because it's temporary and no one ever died from a messy house. It gets easier. I wouldn't let them cry it out this young. We started gentle cry it out for sleeping once they were mobile, but if they're genuinely uncomfortable, they can't really be expected to self soothe. Cry it out is more for babies who all their needs are met, but they're learning how to sleep without you fully putting them to sleep. If they really have an issue like discomfort for reflux, they can't be expected to self soothe for that.  Even if your parents tell them to let them cry or you'll spoil them, that's very outdated information. My parents tried to push it on me as well to let them very and it confused me,   so I'm not criticizing you for asking, but no don't let a reflux baby cry for more than a few mins at a time.

Answer

Maybe just let the other sleep while you're feeding the crying baby? My son was always a crank if I woke him, even for food. Idk. I've never had twins but worth a try! We also had reflux and really saw a difference after we started using Gerber Soothe probiotic and collic drops! I could tell the days he was given it verses not... That's how much it helped him.

Answer

Mamaroo was the only thing my son slept in, they’re expensive but can be found cheap on fb market place.

How to survive newborn stage?

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