im an idiot.

my boyfriend broke up with me today. we were long distance, makin it work well, but lately hes been a total asshole to me so we took a break.

after talking with him today he asked me how much time i needed until i got back with him, i told him i wasnt sure but i need time to think and time for myself. he was upset and talking about how he didnt want to fuck up anymore, and how he wanted a second chance. i told him i still need time, i needed more than 3 days to think everything over. he said he understood but i dont think he did.

he apologized a lot, and i told him “its okay, dont beat yourself up about it, or anything else” because i know how he can get when hes angry, he goes around punching things. it helps him calm down in a way, i guess. so i was basically telling him that its okay, he doesnt need to be sorry, and guess what he said.

“wow. that hurt my heart” and i apologized like i always do, then he unadded my snap, blocked my insta, texted my number saying “dick move” then blocked my number.

hours later he had the nerve to text me on hangouts.

i literally dont get how someone who loves you so much, cares about you a lot, can just walk out of your life and pretend you never existed. i dont get it. part of me thinks he found someone better, someone who could actually give him everything he needs. but not like i tried my best to make him the happiest guy on earth or anything.

i feel like an idiot. all the time i wasted on him, i even told my brother about him.