Sleeping

So I woke up this morning and my boyfriend didn’t speak to me and he was hurriedly getting dressed. So he says he’s leaving and I say “are you gonna kiss me or anything” and he says “no you punched me in the eye” and I chuckled a bit because I thought he was joking but I said I apologize when I realized he was serious. and then he just walked out and got into his car. I got up and I just got in my car and drove off. I was asleep and I have no memory at all of it. I get it he’s upset but what am I supposed to do? Like I’m so hurt and I apologized many times. I’m not sure what to even do. I was in a domestically violent relationship for years. I would wake up to my ex pushing me around. So i would wake up fighting and trying to get away. I don’t want him to feel as if I’m purposely trying to hurt him and I told him that. Now he won’t text back. 😭 I’m so sad man. I hate myself.