He doesn't want me to know the gender...

Hey Ladies!

I am nearly 7 weeks along and the bf and I had a blow up over finding the gender out over the weekend.

When I was young, I thought it would be cool to not know till the birth. Make it a special surprise and all. Now that I'm pregnant, I'd rather know the gender so that I can prepare for the baby without using gender neutral things.

He wants to wait till the birth because it's the one thing that he can have from this pregnancy as a father, as he says. He fought and fought with me about how even if I know and he doesn't, he'll end up figuring it out and it will ruin everything for him.

He finally said F-it and said I could know, but he didn't want to. Yet, his tone and attitude were through the roof and I said no. I was pissed! He said a few weeks ago I could know the gender without him knowing, no problem. Yet, now it's a problem and he throws a fit about it.

I said no in the end and told him I wouldn't find out. I feel like he manipulated me into this decision by throwing a fit.

He broke up with me because he was scared to be a dad. I've had a miscarriage before and have been wishing for a baby for three years. This is so special to me and my rainbow baby... Doctors told me I'd never get pregnant... What if this is the only chance I get and he is trying to take away all the special moments? He keeps saying he doesn't want to do everything like everyone else, but I don't care about everyone else. I care about my experience with my baby.

I'm fine for now with not knowing, but what about when I go shopping for baby and want to buy things? What about when I'm talking to baby through my huge stomach and still have to call it Bean?

I'm not upset about it anymore, but I am looking for insight that isn't biased per se.