I’m not sure if I’m losing feelings. My brain has never been so jumbled

I’ve been with my boyfriend just under a year and 3 months. We’re both freshly 18. In the beginning we never had fights or anything although he always did little things that hurt my feelings e,g criticise me for my past even though he had one etc. I wouldn’t say anything because at the beginning of the relationship I was bad at standing up for myself and didn’t see it as too big of an issue but now it has all added up.

We have so much fun together but lately I feel like I have lost feelings. In the last six months he has constantly made fun of me (e.g. call me “retarded” or imitate things I say) even though I have asked him to stop so so so many times and he knew how it made me feel. When we fight the main point bought up by me is always how I feel like I am treated like a constant joke and how him not stopping saying some simple “jokes” seems like he obviously doesn’t care about his girlfriends feelings.

Lately is has all added up and I don’t feel the same at all. I told him last week how I think we need to break up and how I don’t feel the same as I used to. He didn’t defend himself at all and actually handled it very well and said how he can’t expect to treat people like that and it not have any consequences. He told me how he will begin to put in more effort and how he’s an idiot and didn’t realise how serious it actually all was. After this conversation I told him I’d sleep on my decision which then led me to saying we will take it day by day. He then came over that weekend but I wasn’t very excited to see him and didn’t feel sexually attracted. I still think about breaking up and him and I have talked about this (I’ve been very honest with him) but at the same time my mind is numb and I can’t think of anything I’ve never been so confused in my life. I’m not sure if maybe it’s because I’ve seen him properly sad for the first time and I hate knowing I’ve done that or because I have noticed a change in his behaviour and maybe am convinced he will put more effort in and that I finally have a weight off my shoulders after saying everything I need to say.

I’ve literally never been so confused and I really don’t know what to do. I know I’ll be okay without him but I’m not sure if I’m making the wrong decision. I really care about him and I do love him but I’m not sure if it’s the same as before. I also know me stringing him along isn’t fair on him at all and I told him that but he said either way he wants to stay in the relationship and will be waiting.