I don’t understand what he wants...

Me and my husband have been married for 4 years, we were both very young at the time we married. So long story short we’ve had a very rough relationship with plenty of arguments, he’s lazy, insults me, tells me what to wear, tells me I’m not tan enough, I need to dye my hair, I need to get bigger boobs, a bigger butt, I need to do my finger nails a certain way, etc.

Apparently he has a bad porn addiction which I suspected for a long time because we’ve had issues with him getting too close to female workers, asking if I thought my mom would have sex with him and he wanted me to watch (which is extremely uncomfortable for me, that’s my mom for god sake!) he is demanding in the bedroom and only wants to satisfy me but he never listens to what I like, instead does what he wants and what he thinks will make me feel good continually even if I tell him that it doesn’t feel good. Well I found out that he is constantly watching porn, at home instead of helping with our kid he takes off to the bathroom for an hour to watch porn, he does it at work too and says he needs to keep himself sexually aroused all the time.

Well, turns out my man is into very very big women lol. (Probably why he tells me to get bigger boobs and a butt and if I ever got fat he wouldn’t mind) I’m wayyy smaller then these women, I’m a little chubby but not close to what he is into.

What should I do? Our sex life sucks and he constantly makes me feel like I’m not what he wants. He will tell me when I bring it up that I’m sexy and he loves me but his actions say the opposite. I just want a relationship where we can both be happy and content with each other and him not feel the need to change me. How do I explain this to him? And if we try and fix things how do I get past feeling like he’s always desiring to be with bigger women?