Advice on having a baby

I am late by just over two weeks, I’ve done three tests one was negative, one was positive and one was inconclusive nightmare I know 😫.

If I am I am trying to consider all possibilities. If are PRO Lifer then I’m not after you’re opinion thanks I am looking for advice based on people that take all factors into consideration.

I had an abortion in the past but I was in a very different place I was struggling with PTSD and a functioning drug user and alcoholic. That pregnancy was from being drugged and raped so very different circumstances. This time it is with someone who I barely know and left because of the signs of controlling behaviour and would not want him involved.

But in a change, I have never wanted the kids, mortgage and marriage. I have just graduated and between Coronavirus and starting my own career and business I don’t leave time for much of anything including dating and family. But I am actually considering having the baby if I am pregnant.

I work in the arts and just about look after myself and I am at the beginning of my career, so my question is I travel a lot for work and work on projects abroad so I would bring doing this on my own. Is it possible to have a career and be a single parent while working like this?

I will not compromise on my career and settle for a job I hate just to have a child whenif I wanted to I would have it in the future with someone I am in a relationship with and have got somewhere with my career.

Please can someone give me advice 😫 I’m torn.

I don’t want to tell my friends and family as I would find that so overwhelming and they will start to plan things and names. I know it’s supportive and I am luckier than most but that’s not what I need and if I do choose not to have it I don’t want everyone knowing my business.