Resent husband?? Am I only one?

Ok this is probably going to be lengthy. First time parents, baby girl is 6 weeks. Husband took 4 weeks off initially and then back to work for 6 weeks then he has 8 more off. Hes allowed 12 weeks off totals but did intermittent because he has training and such in October.

When we were at the hospital he was so helpful. I had a c section so it was pretty difficult for me to get out of bed and I don’t think I had to change a single diaper at the hospital because he did it for me. Then we got home and he was so incredibly helpful for the 4 weeks that he was home. He’d get me whatever I needed (water,snack, pillow, etc) baby girl wouldn’t sleep in bassinet and would be up for most of the night so we did shifts and he was great about that. We were a really great team. If she needed her diaper changed it wasn’t something that needed to be discussed just whoever was available got up and did it. I’m breast feeding so all of the feedings are on me unless he gives a bottle of pumped milk which we occasionally will do. I got mastitis right before he went back to work and he was very helpful with that too. My fever got up to 103.8 so I couldn’t even hold her because she would get way too hot. He pretty much took care of her for 2 days expect when I had to feed her and let me sleep as much as he could.

Well, now he’s back at work and I’m struggling. Friday will be two weeks since he went back and today is his SECOND day off. He keeps picking up elective overtime even though I’m begging him not to. Don’t get me wrong its great money and when he goes back on FMLA he can’t do over time.. but he already works 12 hours shifts and then sometimes will sign up for an extra 6 hours after work and it’s now an 18 hour shift. Then on his days off he’s working 12-15 hours. The thing is, the money is nice but we don’t NEED it. He’s always worked a lot because he just has that provider mentality but now I really need him. With his job it’s imperative that he’s well rested. So not only does all of the responsibility of baby girl fall on me during the day it also does at night. He sleeps in the spare room so that he gets uninterrupted sleep. (Which like I said it’s important that he’s well rested so I don’t really mind that part). But when he gets home he takes her for maybe 2 hours and most of the time she’s fussy or cluster feeding or whatever and just wants me anyways. Then, it’s back to me and her for night time. She wants to be held ALL day. We bed share because it’s the only way she’ll sleep. So she’s on me almost 24/7. I love her buts it’s freaking exhausting. We really have nobody to help so it’s just me and him. Sometimes my mom will come over and hold her so I can get cleaning or whatever done, but I pretty much have to beg her to come over. Last night he didn’t have to work in the morning so I expected him to help at night time or at least sleep in the same room. Nope. He was so grumpy and kept saying that he was tired so I just told him to go to bed. Then I started crying. (Which is literally the first time I’ve cried PP) he asked what was wrong and I told him that it was literally like him staying at his job 24/7 with no option to leave. I’m tired and the thought of having her all night every night until she’s no longer an infant is over whelming. It’s hard. So he tells me.. “at least you don’t have to get up and work in the morning too” like yes, obviously and I’m so happy I can stay with her full time but omg that doesn’t make it any easier. She wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat and then I have to keep her upright for at least 30 mins because she has bad reflux then she almost always throws up all over us anyways.

I say all of that to say this: he’s a great husband and dad and he really is supportive but dang it’s hard with him back to work. Sometimes I think “it must be nice to not do any of the work but still have offspring”. But he does help like last night he did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Idk I guess it’s just hard and I’m just ranting but I know I can’t be the only one who feels like this??🙃