What even is this anymore?!?!😔

I'm just tired and wanna cry...39 weeks today and baby girl is taking her time and rn I'm okay with that because I dont want her coming in this world when I want to kill her father half the time.😂 I look like a 🤡 he really started talking to a girl that him and my mother work with and The bitch knows I'm pregnant and due anyday and we live together...I'm so hurt and feel so stupid and betrayed...trying to act normal to keep my stress and my mother's down since she needs help and we all live together. I'm just so tired of being stabbed in the back by someone I love that supposedly loved me back. What a load of shit 😢. I just wanna disappear