disordered eating TW !!

i’ve been struggling for so long. it’s been so long. since last summer , i eat under 1000 calories everyday. sometimes just 100. i was doing fine up until march. i was eating pretty normal over quarantine but something changed and i was eating. i got on keto and was doing really good. two or three meals a day. ever since i got off keto i’m the worst i’ve ever been. barely eating. overworking out. nobody notices. my mom comes home from work and asks me if i ate and i say no and it’s fine ?? “what are you eating for dinner” and i joked and said “nothing , ice” while laughing and not even a concern. i just want so badly to be skinny. i hate my body so much. i’m on a family trip and i had a little salad and that’s it. everyone is eating pizza wings , etc. i’m currently in the bathroom crying because i can’t enjoy simple things. It’s all i think about