I feel like iv lost the man of my dreams... am I overreacting?

Question

My boyfriend reached out to his ex lied to me about it and deleted some texts...I made a post about that yesterday!!! But now I don't trust him. I feel like I lost the man of my dreams or like he never existed in a way..... I gave up everything to be with him and he promised to give me real love and respect and honestly..I trusted him I trusted what he said even tho I had been hurt just recently before him..I was so in love with him and felt he was was my everything and my best friend, and I felt so lucky to have HIM someone who finally truly loved me. I felt like he rescued me from giving up on love! Just so blessed..but now I feel like I don't even know him or if I should believe anything he had promised me or that he says...he promised he was different and did all the things in the beginning to show me he was! but now.... deleting texts and lying to me...idk I feel like a fool... I just truly thought he loved me more than that 😭 ...now I'm crying because idk if I will ever see him like that again.. and I'm going to miss who I thought he was....am I crazy or not 🤷

Answer

I remember feeling the same ways you are describing in my previous relationship. I talked myself into staying with him and trying to work it out. I ended up spending 7 more years with him, and the relationship ended so painfully. He kept up the lies and cheated several times but always left me feeling like I was to blame for whatever was wrong or that it was all in my head. Not to say this is a guaranteed outcome for you, but use it as a cautjonary tale.

Answer

You’re not crazy. It took trust from you, and it made you reevaluate everything you thought he was. My husband was looking at picture of women and even screenshot them. I found them in his recently deleted (just looking through his photos we have a very open relationship and I was not looking for anything and not behind his back.) when I found them my whole world shook because he has never seemed like the guy who would act on another woman’s picture. Which I know is a guy thing, however it was very different because he saved them. To me I felt inadequate. Why did he have to find those pictures? Even if he deleted them and claimed to have done nothing why did he feel the need to save them anyway? I’m sure you feel a similar way. Asking, why did he feel the need to talk with her? To hide something from you? I understand those feelings. You have a perfectly valid reason to feel them and you will probably feel them for a while. However, the MOST important thing is to talk with him. Have a serious talk without yelling or accusations and really ask him why he felt the need to contact her and hide it? Tell him how it makes you feel and let him know he’s lost some trust. Communication is truly key. I know you hear that all the time but actually applying it to your relationship is a game changer. Be open and tell him how hurt you are and see how it goes. Holding it in will make things worst. Then you’ll only have questions you’re trying to answer for yourself and that never turns out good. 
I hope the best for you! Don’t feel crazy. It’s heartbreaking when the picture we had of our SO gets distorted, however, everyone is human and makes mistakes. That doesn’t mean it’s okay, but with communication and time it can get better and both of you can eventually put it behind you.

Answer

You don't need him. Lying and deleting, you deserve better. Don't be sad about losing who you thought he was. Look at it as a blessing. I know it's hard and we always feel like we will never be ok. But with time we're always ok. Wishing you the Best! 🙏🏼

Answer

Thank you ladies.. we will be talking about it when he gets home from work today..... I've took your advice and advise from my last post and have thought about everything and everyone's point and I just wanted to say thank you

I feel like iv lost the man of my dreams... am I overreacting?

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