Sexual rejection, date stamp for counseling

Today I got super horny in the store with my husband, when we got home before our son was put to bed we watched some videos of a husband and wife making fun of eachother by imitation. One of the jokes was how the husband always wanted sex and the wife never did.

This took my mood away, our whole marriage my husband hasn't been sexual and whenever I initiate he has never acted enthusiastic or excited. In fact I've been yelled at and rejected while half naked. He'll still initiate and he's able to keep an erection. The problem is when I initiate. I think he's just selfish and maybe a bit lazy.

After I got sad about that I drank a bunch of water and made myself sick so when he did try to initiate I told him that we could tomorrow.

After I felt better after 30 minutes (I was still naked from the earlier attempt) and I pulled off my blanket and flashed my body and said I could do it then if he wanted. He got frustrated because he was going to go play video games with his friend. I didn't say anything I just covered my face quite honestly cause I feel friggin dumb to keep being naked and getting rejected. He just started kinda raising his voice and I just told him to go play, so he did and now I'm in the bath tub. He is sitting outside the door texting me cause he knows he messed up but I just don't have the mental energy to keep crying and feeling hurt. I just gotta let him be in his confusion cause I'm really fine and honestly just going to let this come out at marriage counseling.

That's why I wrote this mostly, to have a date stamp for the counseling. Thanks for listening ladies... GN❤️