Bf saying other girls are beautiful

I want to start this off by saying that I know I have big issues with insecurity and jealousy and that it’s not healthy. I’m not able to be in therapy at the moment so I was just hoping to get some advice in the meantime. I will be starting therapy hopefully in the not too distant future to further dive into my issues and where they come from.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. He doesn’t really have a filter and pretty much says whatever is on his mind. He sometimes makes comments about girls on Instagram or elsewhere and how they are beautiful or pretty or whatever.

This really hurts my feelings. I’ve always struggled deeply with liking my body and my looks in general. I don’t feel pretty. I also have PCOS and struggle with my weight. He tells me I’m beautiful too but somehow it only makes me feel better until the next time he does it. I think part of it is that I know I’m not his usual “type”. All of his past girlfriends have been tall, lean, blonde, surfer girls. I’m brunette and on the curvier side. And I don’t surf. When he makes those comments it’s almost always about surfer girls on Instagram, some of which he knows in person as he also surfs. This further makes me uncomfortable because I know he’d love to have a surfer girlfriend. He’s trying to get me into it.

Last night I made a post about mental health awareness on Instagram (I’m a professional writer and mental health advocate so it’s part of my job). He never says anything about them but he started saying how much he resonated with this one girl’s post a while back because he couldn’t believe someone so beautiful could be struggling so much, and how much her post touched him.

I was a little upset because first of all he doesn’t even like to acknowledge that I deal with mental health issues. He’s kind of the “smile and get over it” type. So it hurt a little that he seems to have more compassion and understanding when it comes to other people on the subject. But for some reason adding that she’s beautiful on top of it really upset me.

I told him it upset me and he said “you can’t be the only pretty girl in the world.” I certainly do not think that, I don’t even think I’m pretty in the first place. I just told him I know he’s going to think other girls are pretty but I’d rather he keep it to himself instead of tell me every time.

Well today I was talking about one of my friends and he asked to see a picture. When I showed him he said “wow” and it just set me off again of internally feeling so insecure and unworthy.

I know I need therapy. A lot of my insecurity stems from the abuse I suffered as a child as well as how toxic my last relationship was, where I was cheated on with 4 other women at once.

In the meantime, can anyone offer any advice? It’s just been terrible going into a panic whenever he says that another girl is beautiful or comments on another girl’s appearance.

Also, I truly do not have anything against other girls. I believe in supporting each other and I know so many GORGEOUS women! It more so just hurts to hear my partner saying it when I don’t comment on how handsome or hot other men are to him, that just feels wrong somehow :(