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TTC, but husband can't perform - any advice?

I am trying to conceive and I am using ovulation tests. Yesterday the test showed an LH surge, so we have tried it last night and this morning, but he was unable to perform. I think he was under too much stress and trying too hard. The main problem is that he now feels like he has failed or that he is useless. What can I do? I have told him not to worry about it, that it is just the stress and that he'll be fine once he is able to relax a bit. But I'm not sure that it is helping. Should we try Viagra or something like that? Any advice would be appreciated!
2.6k views • 0 upvotes • 12 comments

COMMENT (12)

Pa

Posted at
Did you tell him you were ovulating? Sometimes telling your SO puts more pressure. 

Er

Posted at
Maybe next time don't talk about the surge with him? Just initiate the baby dance and not let him know! That way not as much pressure? GL

Na

Posted at
Try random BD maybe while yu are both in the kitchen just maybe randomly do oral and BD in the kitchen something different might excite him 

Ca

Ca • Sep 19, 2014
Maybe dress up or use lotion on each other ?

Ra

Posted at
This happened to me before too. The night after it happened I initiated, which I think really helped my husband. I also stopped telling my husband about positive OPK's for a little while, and eventually he started to ask me!  Best wishes!

Ke

Posted at
I did tell him about the positive ovulation test and I guess that was a mistake. We have been talking very openly about trying to conceive, so I didn't think it would be an issue. But I won't tell him in the future... But is there anything I can do right now to help him?

Ca

Ca • Sep 19, 2014
I may have been implementing them myself to get my DH to DTD when the dates at right!

Ca

Ca • Sep 19, 2014
You could try playing by yourself and telling him when you are ready for him. Sorry if these suggestions are too smutty!

Ro

Posted at
Don't tell him when you ovulate , that can add stress, as well just be normal my husband is the same way, and feel like he have to son I avoid telling him. Sorry sometime you have to be that way

Br

Posted at
Don't tell him when your fertile week is! My husband hates scheduled sex and could never finish whenever I told him anything. Now I initiate when it's time, and make sure to have sex all month, not just fertile week. Don't make him feel like he's only good for making babies. 

Co

Courtney • Sep 19, 2014
agreed!! never tell him you are testing!! it will put too much pressure on him. GL :)

An

Posted at
I just don't tell my husband. He hasn't wanted to have sex with me because he's afraid of another miscarriage and I ended up in the ER aug 2-3rd and needed a bunch of stuff done to make me stop bleeding so he's scared he'll loose me. Simply don't tell him. Blow it off basically and pretend that you haven't yet.
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