Am I wrong for not having sex on special days?

Question

My husband is upset because when it's a special day, like a birthday, anniversary,  valentines,  new years, Christmas, etc I don't always want to do something sexual with him. He's saying we should have sex on those days, or at least give him something. But I feel like I shouldn't have to do anything if I'm not in the mood, no matter what day it is. I find it extremely off putting that he is acting so entitled, and I've told him that, but he doesn't think he is wrong, so now I'm second guessing myself. Am I wrong for not doing things when I'm not in the mood? Should I force myself to on special occasions?

Answer

You should never feel like you have to do anything sexual just because it’s the day, I know some people like to celebrate those days with sex but if you’re not in the mood don’t do it 🤷‍♀️

Answer

For my anniversary I got my boyfriend and I a hotel room and brought handcuffs and shit, thinking we’d be having sex. We ordered pizza and spent the night in bed, fully clothed. I wasn’t upset or anything in the slightest. No one has to do ANYTHING they don’t want to, regardless of what day it is

Answer

So I might be the odd person out but I think sometimes even if you don’t necessarily feel like it you compromise and maybe go ahead and do it because it’s something nice for him. But that being said there’s times when my husbands been tired and hasn’t felt like doing something that I’ve asked for help with and he does it anyway because he knows it makes me happy. So I think it goes both ways. But also if there is a reason why you don’t feel up to it for instance, on our first wedding anniversary I had severe morning sickness all day long. Like I probably would have puked on him if we’d tried having sex. So we didn’t that night and he was totally ok with it and understood and made me not feel so bad about it. There’s gotta be some understanding on both sides I feel like.

Answer

I just went through this with ym husband. It was his birthday and I wasnt feeling it and told him and he of course got butt hurt. He went on to sulk the rest of the weekend so i sat him down and made it clear I have every right to say no, he doesnt own my body, and if he cant respect that we dont have to have sex AT ALL. I also went on to point out he could've tried again the next day or i would have but he was acting like such a baby it didnt happen. I am also a rape survivor so saying no and not being guilted for it is not negotiable in my relationship. He knocked it off and apologized.

Answer

No, you’re not wrong, but if he’s saying that, I’m assuming he think you guys aren’t having enough sex. You should try to compromise.

Answer

I wonder if it’s his way of wanting to connect and celebrate with you and in his mind those are “given” days where he doesn’t feel obligated to ask and be rejected.

Answer

You always have a right to say no.
But I understand where he is coming from. If his love language is sexual/physical, it might feel like not being shown affection in the way that matters most to him on his birthday. 
I personally don't care about gifts, even in Christmas or my birthday... But quality time means a lot to me. So if my partner didn't feel like spending my birthday with me I would be very hurt. Even if they have a right to ask for alone time whenever they want.

Answer

NOOOPE, if I don’t want to figure it out yourself 😂

Answer

I get where you’re coming from, however it’s clearly bothersome enough for him to bring it u. And a marriage is all about compromising, communication, love ,sex etc. you’re his person the one person he can dick down so if he wants it on his birthday I would do it personally 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Nope you are definitely not wrong, on the other hand I love having sex on special days 🤷🏼

Am I wrong for not having sex on special days?

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